I wanted to grow up too fast

Always looking ahead and wondering when it would be my turn

I was impatient and oblivious to what my future held

Watching movies about teen romances and late nights on the phone with your best friend

Yet it didn’t occur to me that not everyone had the same plans as I did

Instead of late nights with people I knew

It turned into self loathing and regret over a grade

And that regret turned into sadness wondering why I hadn’t tried harder

Why I didn’t want to try harder 

Looking over each individual word and scrap I had lost in the wake

They said that growing up would be fun

That it would be freeing

Yet all I want to do is go back to how things were

I want to go back to when I used to do things for fun

Not because it would help me get into college

I want to go back to the time where I was oblivious to the things around me

When I thought that we would be friends for ever

I wanted to grow up too fast 

And now I can’t go back